Bad grammar used to offer me the irrits.
Rogue apostrophes, colons when there ought to be semi-colons, American spelling conventions, three full stops as an alternative of an ellipsis …
I couldn’t deal with it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MODERN SOCIETY? I assumed. “2” IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE FOR “TOO”. MORE THAN ONE EXCLAMATION MARK DOES NOT EQUAL MORE EMPHASIS. RELYING ON AUTOCORRECT IS LAZY!
Then I learn this tweet:
And this one:
And this one:
And not solely did I chortle in any respect three feedback, I additionally didn’t care concerning the lack of punctuation. In truth, the dearth of punctuation was form of … good. It was like Marie Kondo had tidied up the textual content and eliminated the bits that didn’t spark pleasure. This led to the next epiphany:
LANGUAGE EVOLUTION IS NATURAL AND CONSTANT AND THEREFORE FINE.
I imply, I don’t curtsey at shopkeepers and say, “Good day to you sir, could I please have four and twenty currant buns?”
My emails don’t include the phrases “thus” or “methinks” or “yonder”. It’s 2019. People are busy. Pressing the shift key to make capital letters? Writing “are” out in full?
READ MORE: Why You Shouldn’t Correct People’s Grammar
So I made a decision to embrace grammatical errors. Wait, I imply, i dsided 2 mbrace the shit out of unhealthy gramma. (See what I did there? Yeah, I do know — seems I’m a pure.)
I began by scrolling via tattoo artist Mike Tea’s Instagram feed as a result of tatts r so rad ceremony now. Okay really I used to be on the lookout for my husband’s inked arm:
My favorite a part of this publish was not the picture (though omg try that large gun), however moderately @robjoebrown’s remark: “Shitchyeah”. I don’t know @robjoebrown, however clearly he’s a linguistic genius. Does “shitchyeah” want the “ch” within the center? No. But does the “ch” make it into THE BEST WORD IN THE ENTIRE WORLD? Absochlutely.
Oh, superfluous phonetic letters, u r one of the best.
But right here’s my drawback: I’m a TAFE trainer. It is my precise job to point out individuals find out how to write experiences and essays. Using formal language. With capital letters and full stops and paragraph breaks and citations. No all-lowercase comma-less phrases, thanks.
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If my college students write issues like “the aesthetic potential is emphasised by the juxtaposed contrasting elements” and “subverting the narrative of misogynistic culture is now a common theme amongst contemporary female artists” I’ve to fake to be impressed. “
Fantastic level, nicely articulated!” I notice within the margin. When what I’d wish to put is, “Bit wanky. Rephrase?”
Now that I’m a reformed grammar Nazi with a newfound love of unpunctuated Instagram feedback, I don’t need to learn tutorial clichés. My favorite writing is contemporary and zingy, like a salad with an excessive amount of vinegar.
Abbreviations and slang aren’t lowbrow language units; they make writing environment friendly and relatable! Following the foundations is like so 2 minutes in the past, am i ceremony?
I’ve a brand new class beginning subsequent week. I will likely be instructing primary report-writing methods, as ordinary, as a result of that’s what’s anticipated of me. But critically, anyone who makes use of the phrase “shitchyeah” in an essay will likely be getting an HD.