Is My Millennial Co-Worker a Narcissist, or Am I a Jealous Jerk?


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My co-worker appears to work extra for his or her (I don’t wish to specify gender) private model than for the corporate. This workforce member posts their whereabouts on Slack: They’re at a convention, at class (coursework tangential to their job), working from residence! They maintain us updated on the trivia of their journey (leaving at 11 a.m.! on a prepare with out Wi-Fi till 7 p.m.!). They meet their objectives, however I’m not aware of what their outcomes seem like — are they treading water or exceeding their objectives?

I may very well be glad this youthful co-worker is out and about a lot, however the division doesn’t profit in any means. (We’re in advertising.) When this co-worker reviews on conferences, they don’t say how what they discovered will assist us.

Another co-worker and I attempt to kind out if we’re jealous. (We have household obligations and maybe we’re a bit stodgy?) But I assume if somebody is getting smarter on the corporate greenback, they need to share with their workforce. Instead, we’re on the surface, watching our co-worker flit from factor to factor, sharpening their very own model.

Am I not considering the new-think? Or is that this individual a office narcissist? Why does it hassle us a lot? What language can I use with co-worker’s supervisor and the division head that doesn’t make it appear to be a persona situation, however about including worth to the group? Or is it simply that co-worker’s persona and mine are far aside and I ought to search for my very own lessons and conferences and polish my very own model?

What’s the stability between what’s good for the person vs. good for the workforce?

— Okay.C.

I’ve beforehand outed myself as a millennial on this column, and I suppose I ought to additional disclose that I lately (and fairly publicly) stop my job and received a new one thanks partly to my largely constructive popularity in an trade recognized for absurd ranges of upheaval. So! I am impressed by your colleague’s savvy brand-building, which I strongly suspect has much less to do with narcissism than with their experiences making a profession in a post-financial disaster world. I have by no means had a job that didn’t really feel tenuous, which suggests I have by no means had the liberty to not obsess over my private model and whether or not I’m doing sufficient to burnish it by means of work, social media, skill-building and networking. Of course we might somewhat stop Twitter and cease going to conferences mixers and take all our trip days and develop actual hobbies and deeper human connections, however your complete financial system has proven us again and again that we can not, as a result of we’ll find yourself broke disappointments to everybody we all know. (Malcolm Harris’s glorious e book “Kids These Days,” which particulars how millennials have been formed by financial trauma, is a worthwhile learn on this topic.)

If you have an interest in taking lessons and attending conferences, why not take your organization up on its capacity to pay for them? If you’re not in a place to attend due to your loved ones commitments, that’s O.Okay. too, but it surely doesn’t imply your colleague must cease attending. If alternatives aren’t being doled out unequally and also you aren’t being compelled to tackle further work to cowl for his or her absence, whether or not they’re a mean performer or a celebrity actually doesn’t concern you. The truth that you’re not chargeable for this individual’s work outcomes and that you’re contemplating complaining to their supervisor — who is chargeable for mentioned work outcomes, and absolutely is aware of the place their worker is on a given day — suggests it isn’t in reality about “adding value” however pure resentment.

This is the financial system’s fault, too. You’ve been set as much as resent millennials simply as a lot as we’ve been set as much as resent you. The excellent news is that you may nonetheless break the cycle.



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