How to Throw an Election Night Party, if You Dare

Throwing a party for the midterm elections?

How brave. It’s a risky move, since parties on election nights aren’t always as fun as you imagine beforehand. You’re tempting fate here.

But you are confident and fearless. And while you’re a good citizen who knows that politics is a serious business that shapes our lives in obvious and invisible ways, you can’t help getting caught up in the spectacle of an election night.

Watching the results with friends, acquaintances and strangers is emotionally and socially complicated, however. Here’s some practical advice.

If you’re surrounded by Democrats, you could serve Beeto O’Rourke and wash it down with AlexSangria Ocasio-Cortez. If you’re partying with Republicans, you might prefer Dave Bratwurst.

Overdosing on information is half the fun of the party, if you want to call any of this “fun.”

“Did you see what Famous Political Reporter tweeted?”

Yes, everyone saw what Famous Political Reporter tweeted. You’re at an election-watching party with people who willingly went to an election-watching party. Everyone there follows Famous Political Reporter and 500 other political journalists who retweet one another.

If you’re going to read a tweet out loud — or hand your phone over so people can read the tweet themselves — you’ve got to zig where others zag. The bar for shutting down conversation should be high.

Also: If someone reads a tweet out loud that you’ve already seen, there’s no point in saying, “Yeah, I saw that.” It just makes the reader of the tweet feel bad. Instead, pretend they are delivering new information and grant them the satisfaction. We all make small sacrifices in the name of social graces.

Bad news: Your preferred candidate or political party lost and your vision of victory was an illusion. Crying is a good option at this point. It’s entirely normal and healthy. But if you feel a social obligation to keep the faucets turned off, here’s what you can do to fight your natural human response.

Congratulations! Your preferred candidate or political party won, and the tears of your opponents taste even better than the wine.

You could extend an olive branch to supporters of the other candidate, pledging to work together and find common ground, but that wouldn’t get many likes, and we all know you aren’t going to do that.

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