Despite what the mainstream media desires you to consider, this can be a nice 12 months for horror.
By The Rotting Corpse
The Rotting Corpse is a weekly satire column devoted to poking enjoyable at our many horror favorites. For each day horror information and updates, remember to try the Dead Entertainment dwelling web page.
What a 12 months for horror 2019 has been. It’s solely April and we have already watched the horror style get acknowledged at the Oscars, quiet the field workplace competitors, and even commemorate our very first Friday the 13th ever (it is by no means occurred earlier than till this 12 months). How might this 12 months get any higher, you say? Well, I’ve obtained information for you. This 12 months, Friday the 13th falls on Halloween, Christmas, AND the 4th of July. How are you able to beat that? Hint: you possibly can’t.
Friday the 13th means lots to us horror followers. A beloved movie franchise of the similar title touched our lives and has endured for many years, regardless of being utterly fictional, which ought to be apparent by the reality that there is by no means been a Friday the 13th earlier than 2019. Now that we obtained the information out of the approach, let’s look forward. We already know quantity of main holidays fall on Friday the 13th this 12 months, so it is vital to set some floor guidelines to organize for the celebration.
I do know lots of individuals are going to be upset by this, however this 12 months Independence Day will fall on the similar day as Friday the 13th. Now, everyone knows that freedom, independence, and killing individuals are staples of American custom, so I believe it is extremely applicable to be celebrating these wonderful two days collectively. Sorry, snowflakes, but when you are going to have fun Friday the 13th this 12 months, you higher accomplish that with a bit of bit of patriotism. Not even Jason Voorhees hates America so it is time to embrace the crimson, white, and blue, however particularly the crimson since will probably be Friday the 13th.
In addition, it’ll be a tough month of October for some people who get pleasure from Halloween. Sorry, Mike Myers, it appears to be like like you are going to have to maneuver your therapist appointment to November as a result of Jason is coming to city. That’s proper. Friday the 13th additionally falls on Halloween this 12 months, so that you higher begin planning for hockey masks pumpkin carvings and different related festivities. There’s simply no room for Myers this Halloween. Sorry, however that is simply how it’ll be this 12 months.
Finally, we’re going to cap off an unbelievable 2019 in December when Christmas and Friday the 13th fall on the similar day for the first time ever! Wow! It appears to be like like no one can be arguing over saying Happy Holidays this 12 months as a result of we’ll all be too busy wishing one another a Happy Friday the 13th. Talk about an incredible Christmas present from the Gregorian calendar to cap off an already wonderful 12 months.
Could 2019 be the greatest 12 months ever for horror followers? It simply may be. Grab your hockey masks and get able to have fun. Happy Friday the 13th from our household to yours!