NORTH WILDWOOD – “You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life” couldn’t be sweeter phrases for 2 half-sisters who found one another after greater than 40 years.
Stacey Selepak, 45, of North Wildwood, met her older half-sister, Heather Bockius, of Wilmington, Del., at Christmas 2019, after discovering they have been associated after DNA testing.
The two are quick changing into the very best of buddies, as they get to know one another and attempt to make up for lacking baby, teen and maturity years.
“Whatever we become is all good,” Selepak mentioned, “because I didn’t have any of this before. We are what sisters are, which can mean friends, fighting sometimes but at the end of the day, you make up. We tell each other, ‘you are stuck with me for the rest of your life.’”
Knew of Adoption
Selepak knew from the time she was eight years outdated that she was adopted as a result of she mentioned she didn’t appear like her dad and mom or members of the family.
“I was born on a Friday, and on that Monday, an attorney gave me to my adoptive parents. A year later, they adopted me, and the records were sealed. When I was eight, I started asking questions,” she mentioned.
She grew up within the Philadelphia space, not removed from the place her organic mom was elevating her half-sister, Heather. Bockius mentioned she was 21 when she realized she had a sister.
“There was a rumor in the family about my mother having given away a child, but my mother would neither deny it nor confirm it,” Bockius mentioned.
“I did the DNA testing about two years before Stacey, so nothing showed up on my family tree,” she continued. “I wanted to see if I could find my father and if I had any other siblings.”
Gift of DNA Kit
Two years in the past, Selepak’s husband gifted her with a 23andMe DNA package to assist Stacey find out about her medical historical past. This previous fall, Selepak obtained her outcomes.
“It took me two years to get up the guts to do the DNA testing,” Selepak admitted. “I am a smoker and wanted to know about my health history. I found out I was OK, but there is an eye disease that runs in the family, so I am taking vitamins now that I found that out.”
She additionally came upon there was a half-sister on each her mom’s and father’s aspect.
“I connected with my half-sister on my father’s side, but that didn’t go very well so we are not in touch,” Selepak mentioned. “Maybe, she needs time to process this, I don’t know, but she has my information if she wants to get in touch.”
On her mom’s aspect, not solely did Selepak meet Bockius, however she met her organic mom, as effectively. “When we saw each other, I realized I am the spitting image of my mother. It’s so weird. My sister and I look like each other as well,” Selepak mentioned.
In addition, a lot of her and her organic mom’s habits and actions are the identical or related, Selepak mentioned.
Both half their hair a sure means, solely drink Coke and have related actions. “It’s weird, but you think you would pick up the habits around you, but for many, they are the ones you were born with,” Selepak mentioned.
“She is a younger version of my mom,” added Bockius, “but my mother still hasn’t confirmed it.”
Selepak additionally mentioned she didn’t ask her organic mom any questions on why she was put up for adoption. “I believe my biological mother was very young when she had my sister, and we are only 14 months apart,” she mentioned. “I’m guessing my biological mother didn’t have the support system she needed for two young children.”
Bockius mentioned she grew up as an solely baby, and whereas her mom was married for a short while when she was younger, Bockius nonetheless doesn’t know who her organic father is. Neither does Selepak.
“I’m glad to have found that I belong to something, and I can see it,” Selepak added. “I’m getting to know my niece and nephew, and my sister and her family. I had a good upbringing and education and had a good life with my adoptive parents. I am happy for what I had, and whatever it becomes, I didn’t have it before, so it’s all good and positive for me.”
Bockius additionally mentioned it’s been a “positive experience,” and he or she is fascinated with studying extra about her half-sister and fascinated with others within the household being examined.
“I’m interested in seeing how this will all play out,” she added.
While rising up, some household buddies, who Selepak believed may have been her organic father, additionally have been out and in of her life. “They were close friends with my adoptive parents until I was 5, then they stopped coming around,” she recalled. “My dad died after I was 18-1/2-years-old, and so they confirmed up on the funeral. They mentioned if I ever wanted something, to allow them to know.
“It felt like I used to be trying within the mirror,” she added, “but when I tried to reach out, they didn’t want to open that door.”
She additionally came upon that one other household buddy stored tabs on her rising up, updating her maternal grandmother over time.
“My adoptive mother asked me to wait until she died before looking for my biological parents, and I did,” Selepak mentioned, noting her adoptive mom died in 2010.
“I take this whole experience in a good way, a positive way,” she added. “I’m glad to have found my sister, and we plan to make up for what we missed along the way.”
To contact Karen Knight, e-mail email@example.com.
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